In the Event of My Disappearance
Lyrics and music by Alex Waters
The calm before the storm, the stutter in the pattern
The sudden brace for impact, the moment when it... shatters!
The ignorance is peaceful, the shadow on the waves
The signal in my bloodstream, the moment when it... breaks!
Don’t go looking for me, I don’t want to be found
The name I can’t remember, the sum without remainder
The knocking at the threshold, the moment before danger
Don’t go looking for me, I don’t want to be found (I don’t want to be found)
Another side of me I have drowned
Chooser of the slain, why choose me?
I’m not dead yet!
I didn’t kill myself
I didn’t kill myself
I didn’t kill myself
I didn’t kill myself
Don’t go looking for me, I don’t want to be found (I don’t want to be found)
Another side of me I have drowned
I didn’t kill myself
I didn’t kill myself
I didn’t kill myself
I didn’t kill myself
I didn’t kill myself
I didn’t kill myself
I didn’t kill myself
I didn’t kill myself
I didn’t die!
Case File: AW03
The lengthy title and repetitive nature stand out from Circa 1996's earlier discography, and as the first "true" song on The Signal Cycle (following the 0:16 "Un1ty"), invites the listener into a new story. Waters has spent time at several meet-and-greets explaining the overarching concept for this album, which he outlines as a modern retelling of the Old Norse/Icelandic folktale Saga of the Volsungs.
In the source material, which was published in medieval times by Icelandic authors, a dragon-slayer called Sigurd encounters a long-sleeping Valkyrie named Brynhild. Waters went on in another appearance to explain that his re-constructed Brynhild is the subject of most songs in the band's discography, although it remains possible that this is untrue. Nor would this explain songs that seem to feature other characters and individuals besides Waters as "I" and this present-day Brynhild archetype as "you."
The original rendition of this track, entitled "In the Event of My Disappearance (Part 1)," was mercifully shortened by removing the parenthetical, but did tie to an earlier demo of the song "Bloodmemories," which added a "(Part 2)" in its title for certain demo recordings. That song, however, which tells three stories of repeated reincarnation, doesn't seem to strongly connect with this song's insistence on not dying at all.
Status: Canonical
Origin: December 2025
See also: "Bloodmemories," read Saga of the Volsungs online for free (starts on page 58)